Today

Today, I feel amazing.  I woke up from some amazing dreams and realized it was afternoon.  Oops.  But I felt good.  I actually *wanted* to take a shower.  It wasn't an exhausting burden to me.  Which it's been for about six months now.  I *wanted* to go to the gym.  And I got to. My back doesn't hurt today, which is amazing.  It hurts every day without end, despite pain meds.  But today, I feel good.  I feel light again, on my feet.  I feel as though I could be fine and I am optimistic.  I am back to my usual self today!

I knuckled down and did 17:51 on the elliptical with a resistance of 5.  I find that I do best when I close my eyes and step to the beat of the music.  My workout mix has fast and slow songs, and they are on random, so that I do a good 2-4 minutes fast, then another 2-4 min slower.  I just focus on the beat and my legs and the time passes.  I breathe in for 4 beats, and out for 4 beats.  Unless I am mouthing the words.  Then all Hell breaks loose and I get out of breath.  Although I couldn't do a full 20 min on the elliptical yet, my legs did not feel sandbaggy like they have for months.  I felt the burn and not the sand in my legs.  That.  Felt.  So.  GOOD.  And it's not because I have been going to the gym cuz I haven't been in almost 2 weeks.  I randomly wake up feeling normal, before sinking back into a sandbaggy, mentally slow state again.

Then, the hand bike.  There was no neuromuscular dysfunction!  Even at a higher resistance than before (I usually stay at 5-6/10, but today I was at 7-8/10), I was able to keep the rpm at 80-90.  I barely make it above 65 most days.  Because there is something blocking the signal from going through.  But to keep going for a full 12 minutes, so I could make up the time I lost on the elliptical, I ended up sticking to the beat of the music and not focusing on rpms.  I made sure that I was feeling all the muscles go through all of the phases of rotation for the hand bike.  I felt all the muscles moving, and remembered that it is a good idea to go slow sometimes so that you can build up muscles properly, and not just ream them with rapid movements all the time.

Then I did some weight machines....not as many as usual, because people were using the leg machines I needed and I simply didn't want to wait.  I was sweating buckets and done with exercise. LOL

I think I convinced The Man to let us go bowling today, and maybe then the older Squiddo and I can play pool.  He's already better than me and only 10 years old.  Yikes.