Basketball Sucks

I know this won't make me popular.  I don't care.  It has to get out there.  I even spoke to a Rockets rep about it.  She said I was crazy to like the sport I like....but she is getting paid by Big Basketball.

I generally don't do sports.  There are few sports I go out of my way to watch.  Only one, actually.  I am a hockey fan, living in Houston.  So I can either watch the minor league Aeros, or drive all the way to Dallas to see the Stars.  I am not a big fan of a 4.5 hour drive to the arena, so I choose to stay local.

Hockey is a valid sport.  You have the players wearing 25 (defense) to 60 (goalie) lbs of gear, sliding around on a single blade that could slice your skin or throat without mercy.  You have 200+ lb muscular, sweaty men that will throw down and fight over a puck the size of a fist using only their bare hands.  It's raw.  It's fun to watch.  And even if you don't like hockey, you can't say that it isn't a challenge to get the tiny puck into the small goal....or for the goalie to catch it.  It's heavier and denser than one may think, and even the fans are taking a chance by being in the crowd.  You can come with a whole, healthy brain and leave with a concussion or a broken bone. 

Let's break down sports into a few categories and try to be objective.  We will look at Hockey, Basketball, Baseball, Football, and Soccer:
1. Points Scored
2. Players Needed
3. Size of Field
4. Difficulty of Play (based on equipment, rules, etc)


1. Points Scored - The fewer points scored in a game, agreeably the more difficult it is to score a point.  Hockey games frequently end with both teams making fewer than 5 goals.  I can't find a record high score in a hockey game, but I see that the highest point differential was in 1944, where the Redwings (spit) scored 15-0 against the Rangers.
A record combined high score in football was 173 points, but a record low was 0 points scored for the entire game, both teams.  Most football games have <50 points scored per game, and each touchdown is 6 points.  That's fewer than ten touchdowns.
 Record Basketball scores are a combined total of 370 points in 1983 between the Nuggets and Pistons.  The top ten highest scoring games since 1959 are all >180 points PER TEAM for basketball.
Baseball?  Highest game score ever is 36 runs.
Soccer appears to have a highest scoring game for a single team is 8 points.  Seriously?

On points alone, Basketball is the MOST PUSSY-ASS game out there.

2. Players - 
Hockey has 6 players on the ice at once per team.
Basketball has 5 players per team on the court.  Because more won't fit.  Pfft.
Football has 11 players
Baseball has 9 players on the field
Soccer has 10.

3. Play Space Size
Hockey - 200'x85' (North American) or 200'x100' (international)
Basketball - 94'x50' (USA) or 91'x49' (international)  The smallest, most pussy-ass playing area.....
Football - 120 yd x 53.3 yds
Baseball -I don't wanna do math.  It's big.
Soccer - 100+ yards x 50+ yards, depending on the pitch

 4. Difficulty of Play
Again, I am biased for Hockey....wearing a crap ton of equipment and balancing on a sliver of metal on a slick surface with opportunity for death every day.
Basketball players wear teensy little tank tops and jams (shorts that are long, for those non-80's kids), are already mostly tall as the basket, and they have the smallest play area of everyone.  Least amount of equipment, too....
Football players wear 30 lbs of equipment and have to do a lot of running and slamming into others.
Baseball players have to hit a tiny ball with a thin bat and run faster than the ball.
Soccer players frequently break ankles and do fun tricks like twirl in the air.  They also have fans that will literally kill each other to get to a player to touch their sweat.  Yiikes.

So there you have it.  Basketball is dumb, and we should not be paying a bunch of people to play this dumb game.  They have the tallest players, the smallest play area, the largest ball, the easiest game, the least amount of equipment, and the most points scored.  Boycott basketball and we can take March back from the madness.  Share this blog!!!!