Can't Make This Shit Up

This conversation actually happened on January 22, 2016.

From the "you can't make this up" category. I seriously thought I was being punked....

Phone rings....
Me: Good evening, (clinic name), how may i help you?
Girl: hi, so I just got a puppy and haven't gotten it the shots yet or anything...
Me: (thinking oh crud, parvo, poor dear) OK, what's going on with your sweet puppy?
Girl: so it pooped on the floor and I didn't see it and I dropped my earphones into it and didn't really notice...
Me: OK...
Girl: and then I put them in my ears and am I going to get HIV? Or something?
Me: .......
Girl: I just don't know what to do.
Me: well, you won't get HIV from your puppy, and there are precious few communicable diseases you can get from his poop. I recommend cleaning out your ear and your headphones and you should be good to go.

She wouldn't let go. I had to talk her down about zoonotic diseases and ear infections. I told her to talk to her MD if she gets sick....wow.

So here's the deal.  You cannot get Human Immunodeficiency Virus from a dog.  They don't carry it, they aren't hosts or vectors.  It.  Won't.  Happen.  In fact, unless your dog has pinworms or giargia or coccidia and you touch the feces and then touch your mouth, there isn't anything you can get from your dog's feces.