Saturday, January 16, 2016

Survival Mode

I've been in survival mode for a few days

Had a chain of anxiety attacks earlier this week that I am struggling to recover from

Like a blister I protect myself

Haven't listened to the radio for three days too much stimulation to my ears

Haven't eaten without vomiting it all back up in 50 hours

Haven't tried to contact my Man in 36 hours because I want Him so badly to help but I can't bear to be disappointed so I don't try

I sealed myself into a container with fiber fill fluff and put myself on a shelf

Heading to work with a sandwich sitting in my stomach like a cold lead ingot

I need to vomit this is so uncomfortable

I will overcompensate with manufactured happiness

Until I heal

Could be weeks

Emotional exhaustion just sleep it away

At least I'm numb

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