Wednesday, September 17, 2014

interviews!

my shift button isn't working well at all, so this post will be devoid of as many capital letters as i can manage to avoid.

it's true.  i started out as an EMT.
now that the man is back stateside, i have been hankering to go back to work.  badly.  my fingers are itching to feel the bounce of a vein beneath them; the slide of a catheter into the vein.  my mind yearns for the satisfaction of a successful blood draw the first try.  advance with a purpose, and don't ever stab the vein.  use a little alcohol beforehand to de-grease the fur/skin  and provide a measure of aseptic technique.  feel the gush of motion under the fingertips when the catheter is flushed and well seated.  cuddle cats and dogs that aren't my own, too.

so last week i delivered my resume to 4 emergency clinics in the north houston area.  i printed them out on heavy, fancy business quality paper.  it had a watermark, it was so fancy.  i used a pink binder clip to attach the cover letter to the two-page resume, as a paper clip would potentially get lost, and i wanted my resume to stand out from all the others.  (here's a hint, kids....your first impression with a career or job is going to be your resume....make it memorable and impressive!)

now, because of a combination of luck and wise choices, i have had the privilege of working with some of the best veterinarians in the locale i have inhabited.  dr gaynor in colorado springs has written and co-written numerous veterinary books and chapters involving pain management and anesthesia.  in fact, i have not yet worked for a vet clinic that didn't have at least one chapter or book written by dr gaynor.  not only that, but dr gaynor made sure that his technicians and doctors were well-versed in everything.  he and his staff conducted monthly continuing education at the staff meetings, and we all were proficient in cpcr for animals.  we even had wet labs wherein we technicians learned how to do doctor-level skills like placing thoracic tubes.  after working for dr gaynor, i moved to houston where i found the most skilled emergency clinic at the time, run by dr mccauley.  she ran a tight ship and insisted on the best quality of medicine i could find in the entire houston area.  she would also begin to have monthly continuing education at staff meetings, and i was able to use my skills garnered from my years with dr gaynor to teach some of my coworkers about perianesthetic conditions that all vet techs should know.  dr mccauley also made her technicians become proficient in knowing exactly what the doctor needed for each potential emergency, and would time us on our care-plan-creating ability.  this helped me learn how to quickly access all information and perform rapid, but accurate, calculations.  when dr mccauley let me go, due to pneumonia, i might add, i was rapidly scooped up by the doctors at north houston vet specialists.  it was there that i was introduced to my absolute favorite internal medicine doctors, dr stone and dr willey, and the amazing surgeons that nhvs had to offer, dr payne and dr hinton.  the quality of medicine at nhvs was akin to what i had experienced in colorado with dr gaynor, which was a great relief to me.  you see, dr gaynor's quality of medicine was years and years ahead of any ER in the houston area, even dr mccauley (though she aspired to the same greatness, the community was dragging its feet).  i
blossomed with dr stone and dr willey, and became proficient in all aspects of internal medicine.  i learned how to administer chemo, how to calculate constant rate infusions without the use of a computer, and how to provide the ultimate care for my clients and patients.  the internal med doctors at nhvs are sticklers for perfection, and somehow they thought i done good.  i was even enlisted to train other technicians in the practice, including internal medicine, surgery, and patient care technicians, how to do certain more-advanced procedures like placing a central line.  then nhvs brought in a criticalist and i was able to have daily nerdgasms.  dr johnnides, the criticalist, was performing medicine equivalent to my years with dr gaynor.  i finally had a doctor in houston that i could bond with on that level.  i wasn't the only one pushing for a specific type of medicine that seemed just out of reach, especially since i am a nurse, not a doctor.  leaving nhvs when the man went overseas nearly killed me.  i went into a massive depression spiral and veterinary medicine withdrawal.  unfortunately, due to a very public anxiety attack i had on social media, i am unable to resume a career at nhvs.   let this be a lesson to all of you, even when you're not in your right mind....don't tag your place of business on facebook when you're having a panic attack!!  because then your boss can read what you wrote and can fire you for it.  keep your anxiety private and internalized, like someone who is always being watched.

basically, my resume is impressive.  and, over the years, i have come to realize and accept that i am very good at what i do.  i have remained humble most of my career, but after working at nhvs and being appreciated by all the doctors i have ever worked for, and every person i have ever worked with offering to be a reference, i decided to embrace my awesomeness as a veterinary technician.  i know my shit, and i ought to be proud of it.

out of the 4 resumes i sent out, two clinics called me back for interviews.  it may have been a higher number, possibly, but one clinic had recently bought out two of the others.....sooooo yeah.  even with only two interviews, i had essentially gotten a call back for all of them.  not too shabby, if i do say so myself. so my interviews were set up for monday and tuesday this week.  this is how they turned out.

monday's interview was perfect.  i was ten minutes early, and i had enough time to curl and style my hair before the event.  i rarely style my hair, but i wanted to impress this potential boss!  my hair is still bright pink, and because that is somewhat of a no-no still in the industry, i had to look good.  i ended up looking kind of like a fat gwen stefani of the late 90s.  i was adorable.  although i talked too much, and gushed too much, and was way too enthusiastic, the boss lady liked me and offered me a position making more money than i'd yet made in houston and exactly the hours i needed on the days i needed them.  i thanked her profusely, but since i had an interview tuesday, i would be sure to give her my decision by the end of the week.

monday night, i was so excited i couldn't sleep.  literally.  i tossed and turned, excited beyond reason about having a job again and doing what i love.  because, with a job offer on the table, no matter how the tuesday interview goes, i have a job.  eeeeeeeeeee!!!!  not only that, but i was overanalyzing all the details and looking ahead five years to see where i would potentially be in the company.  the boss lady had said she wanted me to take on a leadership position, due to my skills and experience as a vet tech instructor, after getting used to the way the clinic worked.  it was a rapidly expanding facility and business, and although it is corporate, the bosses like to keep a 'mom and pop' feel to their locations and allow the doctors and staff to make the minor rules and quality of medicine.  i didn't sleep a wink, which was going to bode poorly for me.
these are my people.

tuesday morning, after getting the kids off to school, i was wiped.  i wanted...needed....to sleep.  but i still had 4 hours till interview time and i was afraid i wouldn't wake up to my alarm.  over the last year, i have become a heavy sleeper.  so i showered and got ready, but decided that, if i set my alarm for 20 min, i would be able to doze lightly and wake up every 20 min until it was time to go.  unfortunately, nothing went as planned.  it took 30 min for me to fall asleep, and at that point i was down for the count and out.  i slept through a total of four alarms and woke up at 1:59pm.  i was supposed to be 30 min away at my interview in exactly one minute.

i texted the doctor that i was running behind, and that i was mortified.  she told me to come anyway, and so i flung the nearest dress on my body and took off for the meeting place.  no time to curl my bubblegum locks.  no makeup to make me look adorable.  just bed head and a dress that honestly clashed with my hair.  i hit 75% of the red lights between my house and the interview, which was being conducted at a starbucks.  i arrived and sat down, flustered as all fuck, spouting apologies.  the doc basically told me gently to shut up and we got on with the interview.  after i arrived, it went well, i suppose.  she is building a new ER in magnolia, and is looking for leadership, experience, and flexibility.  i detailed the hours i would be available, weekends and friday nights mostly, and she was ok with it.  i did offer to help out on weeknights between 10pm-4am if necessary.  but the man doesn't get home from work before 8pm and he leaves at 7am, so i'd have to be home between 6am-8pm on most weekdays.  she offered me the job at the same pay rate as monday's interviewer, but said there would be a significant bump in pay when i am licensed.
this has actually happened to me...

so now i get to decide what to do, and who to go with.  i need to research both the corporate company and the small animal vet that want to hire me.  tonight, i drove to the magnolia clinic, and without traffic it took me 30 min.  it takes about the same amount of time to get to the woodlands clinic, so distance won't be much of a consideration.  basically, i am looking at working for a corporation, which provides financial stability and excellent benefits with a small animal vet that will provide more freedom to be part of the clinic family as a whole and help to make the clinic better on a small scale.  they both have scads of positives and very few negatives, so this decision is going to be so hard.  i don't envy myself at all right now.....my entire career depends on this decision.....how exciting!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

So, I nearly died this morning...

My eyes hurt.  They kinda felt like I'd been awake for too many hours, even though I'd just gotten up about an hour prior.  I was watching 'Picture Perfect' with the Man, and I kept closing my eyes and pressing into them with my fingers, hoping to alleviate the pain.  I had been asleep for too long, then, I suspected.  Yesterday, I had been nauseous and vomiting and slept all day, then all night.  I frequently feel wonky after sleeping too much.

I checked the timer on my phone.  Six minutes till I could start thinking about rinsing my hair.  So I got up and drank two glasses of water.  Since I'd been sleeping all day and night, I was obviously a little dehydrated from vomiting and not replenishing myself.  I scratched an itch on my scalp and washed my hand.  I didn't want the bleach to burn my finger or affect my acrylic nails.

I moseyed on towards the bathroom, and turned on the shower.  I had three minutes left, but I may as well just rinse my head.  Three minutes isn't that long, and won't make my hair any discernible shade lighter at this point.  I've bleached my hair three times before, and I knew I would retain a vibrant pink no matter how long the bleach was in my previously-purple hair.  What's three minutes?

My mind was anxious.  My body felt shaky.  Probably because of too much sleep, I imagined.  It's never easy to come out of a sleep-coma, and I could nap again after my shower.  The water was still cold - I thought I'd given it enough time to warm up, but I suppose not.  Oh, well, I just want to get this bleach out of my hair.  There's so much of it!  I had used two bleach kits of the same brand because my hair is so long that it requires two boxes.  I could tell that, although I tried to keep the bleach from touching my scalp, I would have a slight chemical burn from the fumes.  I had intentionally not showered for 48 hours so I would have a nice oil buildup, but it hardly helps, I suppose.

My throat and chest kind of tickled.  I coughed.  Again.  I didn't smell anything offputting, not even bleach, so I attributed it to the steam in the shower hitting my lungs.  Man, that's a lot of product in my hair.  I bet shampooing it will help to strip the bleach from my hairs.  And why the fuck am I coughing so much?  It's a dry cough in a steamy shower.  Weird.

Now I'm dizzy.  What the ever loving fuck?  My scalp hurts, and I can't stop coughing.  I feel weak, so I lean against the wall.  Maybe it's an overwhelming smell of bleach that's affecting me.  So I pull out the citrus-smelling face wash and scrub my face.  The smell is pleasant, but now I am breathing with my mouth open and I have no idea why.  Maybe I'm still sick or dehydrated from yesterday.  I just need to condition my hair, though, and I can get out of the shower.  I *was* gonna shave my legs, but...nah.  Not up for it today.  I should really drink more water.  I've become kind of a pussy lately, what with the sleeping too much.

I start moaning out loud, cuz I am feeling so weird and I can't put a finger on what's wrong.  My eyes keep closing and I have to wrench them open with lots of thought.  I tell myself to pull it the fuck together.  It's just a shower, dammit!  I am so confused right now.  Oh, yeah, conditioner.  Oh.  It's already on my head.  Ok.  I can do this.  I just need to rinse it out a little and then I can get out of the shower.  I let go of the wall and lean back into the shower.  I lose my balance and catch myself, and decide to rinse while leaning against the wall.  I face the shower and lean in.  Oh wow.  My breathing is so fast right now.  I'm trying to gulp air into my lungs through the waterfall that is my face.  I don't want to drown, so I turn around again.

I yank the curtain open halfway.  I must be having trouble with the steam.  I need some air, because apparently the steam is causing me to gasp this way.  What is going on with me?  Is this supposed to happen?

I began to imagine how bad it must be for people who have heart attacks who can't breathe.  Because I am a totally normal 35 year old who is just feeling wonky and I am pretty damn miserable.  Lying down and sleeping sounds pretty good right now.  I wonder when people who have heart attacks fall down?  Do they choose to get down, or do they just collapse? How bad does one have to feel before collapsing?  Because i can hardly feel my legs right now.  Maybe I should kneel down a little.  Wait.  Heart attack.  Am I having a heart attack?  Where's my pulse?  There it is.  Wow.  My heart is beating at.....I don't know...1, 2, 3, how long is six seconds?  Aw, Hell, it's probably about 120+ right now.  If I have a pulse, it isn't a heart attack.  so what is going on?  Geez, i really can't breathe...i keep gasping and i am really feeling faint right now so i am gonna go ahead and kneel down now.  oh crap i still have conditioner in my hair.  i need to rinse it.

oh.  my head wants to get heavy.  ok.  i can lie here.  why won't the air make my lungs feel better? i just want to rinse the conditioner out of my hair right now.  i don't know if i am still attached to my body right now.  i hope the man is awake.

i yell for the man.

i continue to gasp for air, using the entirety of my tidal volume.  i don't know how much time has passed and the man hasn't arrived.  i yell for the man again.

i don't know how long it was before he showed up but i can't breathe and i think i tell him that.  i have no idea what i looked like.  but i was sitting in the tub, leaning heavily over the side with my head on the side of the tub.  my mouth never closed, and i can only imagine how fast i was trying to breathe.  i felt like a freshly caught fish.  i couldn't move.

the man turns off the water. he covers me in a towel.  he pats my back.  he is obviously confused as to what to make of the situation in front of him.

i think i tried to cry.  but i couldn't because my entire body was focused on bringing in oxygen that it needed but couldn't find.  i wanted to cry.

somehow he moves me to the bed.  i felt like there was an invisible line on my elbows and knees, and the distal parts of my limbs were static.  not pins and needles.  just static.  i couldn't see objects.  just colors with no outline or structure.  i moved but my mind was too muddy to record anything.  i remember trying to talk and feeling my tongue not move.  it felt swollen.  i immediately assumed i had a stroke.  or an allergic reaction.

but i could breathe.  i wasn't gasping for air anymore.  that was a plus.  i could feel my legs and arms again.  my head started to clear.  and my tongue deflated and began to work again.  so i took a nap.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

OMG! PUPPIES! j/k...

OMG LOOK!  A PUPPY!
So you have a female dog, and she's the sweetest, most adorable, most loving creature on Earth.  There has never been, nor will there ever be, a dog remotely as wonderful and loving.  Ever.  So you think about having her have puppies.  Why not?  She isn't spayed, she's adorable, and about six people you know swear they'd love to have a puppy if your dog gets pregnant!  Plus, as an extra bonus, it will teach your kids/niblings/neighbor kids about the birds and the bees and the miracle of life!  And maybe, just maybe, you can make a buck or two in the process!  Not much, just a 'rehoming fee' to cover initial vaccinations or something.  Maybe enough for a night out with the significant other at the Cheesecake Factory, too.  Yeah....who doesn't love the Cheesecake Factory?

Well, there are a LOT of reasons why you shouldn't do it.  Lots of reasons.  I know it's really, really tempting to have puppies.  Believe me - I've been in the veterinary field for a long time, and I love little baby critters more than anyone I know!  But, seeing as we are all grown-ups here, we have responsibilities towards those we love.  And, if you truly love your dog, you won't breed her.  Here is a list of reasons why you won't breed her, and instead get her spayed at your earliest convenience.

1) You've heard this before from your vet (if you're a responsible pet owner and get your dog her shots), but spaying your bitch decreases health risks.  

this is pus coming from the uterus.  gross.
This includes cancer and uterine infections.  Specifically, I speak of a condition called Pyometra.  This literally means Pus Uterus.  One type of pyometra is a silent killer, and you won't know your dog is critically ill until she is either in shock or dead.  Cool, huh?  So you could be saving her life without putting it in danger just by spaying her.

2) Having a litter of puppies can increase the risk of cancers, and greatly increases the risk of pyometra.


3) Proper breeding costs money.

Dogs can get STDs just like humans, and Brucellosis (an STD) can cause illness and abortions.  Therefore, testing for Brucellosis is ideal prior to breeding.  Not only that, but you'd need to take your dog to the vet a couple times during the pregnancy to have her checked out.  Just to be sure that the pups are developing properly and mama is doing ok.  This generally includes an ultrasound and/or x-rays along with the normal exam.  And let's not forget that mama dog has to be properly vaccinated and have the proper flea/tick medication up to date.  You don't want flea-infested puppies that will either die of flea anemia or the topical flea killer you try to use on them...
After the pups are born, you need to take the whole lot of them in for a once-over by the vet within the first week to make sure they are healthy.  You need to invest in a scale that reads in ounces to be sure each pup is gaining weight properly.  And it is your responsibility to make sure all pups are vaccinated and dewormed prior to going to their new homes. Oh, and if you have a breed that 'requires' it, removing the dew claws is on your dime, too.
cleft palate and lip

4) Emergency C-Section surgery can cost about $3,000.  

No dog breed is immune to the possibility of needing emergency surgery to get the puppies out.  Since there is no sure-fire way to know if your dog will need a C-Section until labor starts and doesn't progress, it's best to be prepared.  Generally, pugs, English bulldogs, and many chihuahuas require a c-section simply due to their natural anatomy.  Large heads/shoulders and small pelvises.

mama eating the umbilical cord

5)The miracle of life is messy.

Lochia, the green, ubiquitous placenta-juice that gets everywhere during labor will stain your hands, your clothing, and everything it touches.  And it doesn't always come out.
Mama dog will also eat the amniotic sac, the fluid, and the placenta.  Probably not all at once, and its disgusting.  Sometimes, the mama will be so vigorous in her ingestion of these items that she can actually rip a hole in the tummy of the puppy.  In this case, the puppy will need to be taken to the nearest vet clinic, day or night, and euthanized.  Poor, poor puppy.  :'(

6) Mama dog may not take to motherhood.

Some dogs just don't take to motherhood.  Whether it's the first time, the third time, or what have you.  She may be afraid of the alien beings she just birthed, she may ignore them, or she may choose to attack and eat them.  That's nature.  Sad, disgusting, horrible nature.

7) How many in a litter?

how many do YOU count?
You can't know, prior to about 45 days into the 63 day gestation, how many puppies there will be.  There could be as few as 1 puppy, which would make the puppy huge by the end of the pregnancy and require a c-section.  There could be as many as 12, which causes headache in rehoming, vaccinating, worming, etc.

8) People are unreliable.

Six of your friends say they'd LOVE to have one of your puppies!!  But, this thing just came up, and they're suddenly broke.  Or they are moving soon and can't have one.  Or some other excuse.  Then you end up giving the puppies away on craigslist and they end up as bait dogs in a dogfighting ring and all you ever wanted was to witness the miracle of life and make a carbon copy of your dog....

9) Breed Predispositions.

umbilical hernia
If you have a purebred dog, you need to keep in mind the life you may want to bring into the world, and the ramifications of doing so.  Many dog breeds have diseases they tend to get, based on breed.  For example, golden retrievers are prone to cancers, cavalier king charles spaniels have heart disease, etc.  Here is a list of diseases each AKC-recognized breed is predisposed to.
If you don't have a purebred dog, you can't possibly know its potential for disease.  Best be safe, rather than sorry, and not breed your dog.  And don't even get me started on birth defects.  there are many.

10) You're murdering perfectly good, innocent dogs.

For every puppy that is rehomed out of the litter you want to have, a shelter puppy/dog dies.  I understand that this isn't 100% accurate, as some people who would take a dog from you won't go out and adopt one from the shelter.  BUT thousands of dogs die every day because there is a shortage of loving homes.  And having puppies means that you are bringing more dogs into this world that may be abandoned later in life, ending up as a stray at a rescue, and killed simply because there wasn't enough homes to go around.  Think about the footprint your litter of puppies is leaving on the world.

The best idea is to decide WHY you want to have a litter of puppies.

"I want (kids/niblings/neighbor kids) to witness the miracle of life"
**go visit youtube**
"I need money"
**you won't make money.**
"My dog is so adorable and sweet.  We need more dogs like her."
**no, we don't.  just look at the sweet, adoptable dogs being killed every day at the shelter.  also, no puppy is going to be a carbon copy of yours.  they are all unique.**
**stop being so selfish**
"I wanna see what the puppies would look like"
**use photoshop**
cleft palate