Ever since I got off work Sunday morning, I've had dreams about my exes. Boyfriends, husband.....all of them have taken advantage of me. My money, my time, my affection, my trust.....my positivity....And so I am depressed today. Horribly so. So much so that I tried to text Daddy about it and He said 'stop it'.
He told me to stop being depressed.
So I responded. Snarky. Nasty. Mean. I can't stop being depressed. It's not possible. No more than He can stop having PTSD from His time in the Marines. I have zero control. So I told Him I'm wondering why I'm so loyal to someone who never talks about the future and whether or not I'm in it. He doesn't talk about His life. His enjoyment. His pain. And that makes me feel like I'm not worth anything to Him.
He replied 'ok whatever'.
So now I'm single again. And I'm not sad. Or happy. Or anything. I'm depressed. Numb. I'm gonna be devastated tomorrow. Or later on. But right now I don't feel like it matters.
