Wednesday, January 29, 2014

It Hits Hard...

I was contacted about a job today.  I had sent my resume to a couple of local clinics that I knew were hiring.  I sent a full, three paragraph cover letter stating my intentions as a relief technician.  I included a single page resume, stating my desire to be a relief technician.  And the lady emailed me and said she'd love for me to work at her emergency hospital and how soon can I start.....?

My heart broke.  I don't ever turn down interviews or jobs.  I am a lucky girl.  I am very good at what I do, and I am oddly able to land just about any job I want.  If the Man had been home, and able to let me have an evening and weekend schedule, I would have jumped at the chance to get my VTS in ECC and become a dignified and respected member of the veterinary community again.

I had to decline.  I explained that I understood her desires and needs, and that I would love to help her out.  However, i am a single mother with no family or free sitters, and I can only work during the day and during the week.  So thank you, but I have to respectfully decline.

She emailed me back.  How about weekend days?  Just Saturday and Sunday.  Shifts are 12 hours.

No, sweetie, you don't get it.  Monday through Friday.  And only when the kids have school.  I can't.  Perhaps I can take a shift or two at the day practice once in a while, though I don't do dentals.  I would be happy to give a lecture to your staff about emergency procedures for the day practice.

Am I sure I can't work at the Emergency hospital?

Yes, I am sure.  My heart is breaking and I am crying at this point.  I want nothing more than to go back to my bliss.  My vocation.  My addiction that is veterinary medicine.  But I can't.

And I hate to say this because it makes me sound like an attention whore, but I posted on both of my facebook pages....and haven't had a single comment.  Maybe my friends are all asleep.....but I don't have anyone at the house that can comfort me.  All I have is the platitudes from the internet.  And I can't even get that.  I am as lost and alone as I have been for months, and now I am feeling even more inadequate.

All of these skills and fine motor movements I have developed over years and years of precision and routine.  Going to waste.

I don't want to get out of bed tomorrow.  I just want to lie there like the barnacle I am. 

But I will rise, and be productive, because it is expected of me and 'healthy.'  Maybe.  If this headache doesn't turn into a migraine.  I have a blurry spot in my eye.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Dogs In Trucks

how exciting!  trucks and dogs!
All dogs love going for a car ride.  Well, most of them, anyway.  My dogs go crazy when I pick up my keys and they aren't asked to go to their kennel.

**caution: graphic photos**

About a month ago, I was driving home from visiting family.  It was a 17 hour drive, and for some reason I was hyperaware of the deceased animals on the side of the road.  During the 10 total daylight hours, I saw 7 dogs, two partial deer, a coyote, 2 armadillos, and a cat.  This was not including all of the corpses that were too smashed to identify.  My heart broke with each pet I saw.  And it got me thinking, 'what happened to all of these animals?'  I came up with a couple of ideas.  Either they were strays, or they were untethered in vehicles.
raw paws

There isn't a whole lot I can do about the strays except mourn their final moments.  I have no idea if they relished being homeless or not, and all I know for certain is that they met their demise on a major interstate highway three lanes across on the southbound side.  I don't know if they suffered or not, but they were certainly deceased.
ouch.

As far as the untethered dogs go, this seems a wee obscene.  As an emergency vet tech, I have seen what happens when dogs and cars meet in an unfortunate way.  Everything from scraped paws from being dragged a short distance, to broken bones and avulsed flesh.  One dog I encountered had approximately 80% of his flesh torn from his muscles.  All that remained intact was his face, tail, and the distal portions of his legs.  He had fallen from a bed and been run over.  He did not make it.

It just seems like it should be common sense to secure a dog in the car as you would a child or adult.  And if the dog is in the bed of a truck, secure the dog so s/he cannot jump or fall out.  Kennels and tethers would prevent all of this from happening.  And there are so many ways to create a makeshift leash for your pet in the truck bed....
if you own a truck, you should be able to do this.

And it isn't only truck beds!  You may think your dog is safe inside the body of your car, but you roll the window down because your dog likes to stick his head out.  No different from the dog being in the bed of a truck.  The dog can jump or fall out, same as a bed.  Roll the windows up, or put your dog in a seat belt.

Sometimes, as a veterinary professional in the emergency specialty, I wonder about the sanity and the common sense that the general public has.  I understand that many people feel this way about others, and so I presume I will continue to wonder about people.  I just think that if my child has to be secure, so should my dog.  If a dog likes to chase squirrels, I shouldn't let my dog get in a situation where s/he can run into traffic if s/he sees a squirrel.  And if I am going 75 mph on an interstate highway, I need to be sure my dog or child doesn't somehow end up outside of the truck bed by accident.

Outdoor Pets

I know critters love the outdoors, and I agree that they should spend lots and lots of time outside. Same with children. Being outdoors is healthy and favorable.  I love sitting in my chair, reading a book and listening to the neighborhood children play.  I despise mosquitoes and sunburns and humidity, but otherwise I have pleasant outdoor experiences.  This is because I can go inside when I am cold, tired, hungry, anemic from skeeter bites, or sweating too much for my water intake to keep up.
Animals can't come in on their own unless they have a door flap and, ya know, a home.  In Colorado, working emergency for eight years, I rarely ran into anyone who had an 'outdoor dog'.  Because those were my formative years in veterinary medicine, working for a veterinarian that held diplomates in both anesthesia and pain management and upheld the strictest standards for medicine, I thought that it was normal for those with pets to keep them indoors.  Made sense to me because Colorado can get below 0℉ every winter and up to 100℉ every summer. That's an impressive temperature fluctuation.
I was horribly naive.
Now that I am in Houston, TX, I can see that.  Easily 33% of the animals I saw at the Emergency Hospital I worked for were strictly outdoor dogs or cats.  And cats, you know, are pretty independent and persistent. If they want to be outside they will be outside. So that I could kiiiinda understand.  But not the dogs. Especially the large, thick coated, hairy dogs.  Like Huskies and Labradors.  When you have an animal and live in the hot, humid armpit of the USA, you'd think that humans would inherently know not to leave critters outside that cannot sweat.
But being in Texas also opened my eyes to how little humans in Houston care about pets as if they are family.  And how behind Houston is in regards to veterinary medicine.
I saw this outdoor cat today, lounging on a couch that was set on a curb for garbage pickup.  He was so comfortable that I had to take a photo. Today's temperature is perfect for outdoor enjoyment.  But in three months, dogs will once again die of heat stroke or dehydration.  Not to mention the toxic plants like Sago Palm and Foxglove (Digitalis). 
I just don't understand how people would have a dog just to leave it outside. How people choose not to let the dog be a part of the pack.  It baffles me to no end.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Super Mario Brothers Cabinet

the original idea i saw
one idea i found
I have been depressed since Christmas.  It's been a real downer.  I spent days in bed when the kids weren't home.  But I saw some ideas online for a Super Mario Bros themed cat tunnel and thought, 'hey!  i can do that!' Keep in mind I have zero construction experience that doesn't rely heavily on the husband for all the planning, measuring, cutting, counting, and putting together.  Together, we have built a bathroom from scratch, built a bunk bed with trundle bed underneath, and a few other things here and there, too small to remember.  I have always been Little Miss Goofy And Cute, making jokes and keeping the Man on point, because he is lazy and slow a lot.

So I looked at a couple of ideas online.  And decided I would mash them together to get what I wanted.  Not a lot of people have made these shelves, surprisingly.


My Cart Of Goodies
So I went to the Lowe's, in a grungy shirt and jeans, looking ever so much like a hard-core Weekend Warrior.  I hadn't drawn up a plan, but I had the idea in my head, so I went through the aisles and dragged sheets of MDF onto my cart, then  1"x2"x6' pine boards.  I perused the aisle with all the cabinet hardware and chose some neat hinges.  Then I got stuck in the screw and nail aisle for, like, a half hour because I had NO IDEA what sort of screws to use with MDF.  It's not wood, it's not metal, and it's not plastic or drywall.  But, since I was using Pine, I decided to use wood screws and coat them with wood glue to make them stick in the MDF portions better (according to one of many websites I scoured while in said aisle, so as not too appear to be a damsel in distress).

I walked out of the Lowe's feeling pleased with myself.  I had paint, wood, fiberboard, hinges....I was going to Master This Thing and be Done By Tomorrow!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I did mention I had no idea what I was doing, right?  And to make matters worse, when putting the MDF into the back of Tom Baker, the Ford Focus I was driving, I broke a nail.  YES.  I broke.  A.  Nail!  The horror.  But because I am a pretty easy going person, I knew I would break more and so I have yet to get it fixed.

SO!  I get home, unload everything, and get to drawing a plan.  Because *after* you buy the materials, you should draw up a schematic.  Like Austin Powers, I, too, like to live dangerously.  If you actually look at the picture, and understand it, you will see I have no idea what the fuck I am doing, and I would be better off throwing a bunch of things together and using Duct Tape.  But somehow, I could read it and figure it out.
what the ever loving fuck was i thinking?!?
I decided to build the frame first.  it was pretty easy.  I cut a bunch of the pine and screwed it all together.  I channeled my memories of the Man to be smart enough to drill pilot holes first, but initially I used too small of a bit and broke it off inside the wood.  There it shall stay.  I informed the Man, and he said it's ok.  He has a lot of bits.  It's true.  He hoards tools and bits and things.  Then, because I am a proactive, forward thinker, I realized the frame would be visible and needed a coat of paint.  Go Me!  So now it looks like this:


Feeling proud of myself, I borrowed a circular saw from the neighbor.  It's old, rusty, and held together with duct tape and electrical tape, but I saw no sparks and so I pressed on, cutting sheet after sheet of MDF down to my dimensions. Every piece was a different size, but it was all Close Enough.  

Trading one piece for another, I laid them all out and decided where they were to go.  Then labeled them as bricks or the Mystery Box. And I taped the brick areas so I could paint easier. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Pit Bull Stigma

Not my dog.
Merry Holidays...and happy birthday to me!  I am a Christmas Eve baby and have the privilege of getting gifts once a year.  This year, my birthday started off nicely.  I am in Colorado for the holiday, and staying with my parents.  Two of my three sisters are in town, and one has a daughter - my niece.  My boys and their cousin get along so swimmingly.  And my niece adores my older dog - a Heinz 57 named Cinder.  My niece goes up to her and pets her and kisses her....but she doesn't touch my pit bull, Pearl.  And I figure it is because her mother is afraid of Pearl.  Pearl is black and white, and is sort of not exactly bulky.  She's a back yard bred dog, and she is kinda tall and skinny for a pit.  She is initially very excited and animated, but calms down quickly and has ended up being more of a couch potato than anything.

Being at my parents' house is exciting for the dogs.  They rarely join me on road trips, and they have always enjoyed the acre of back yard that my parents' house has to offer.  Not only that, but the children and guests that come in and out due to my mother's publishing business keeps things interesting for the dogs.  On Christmas Eve, the three children (ages 5-10), my father, and the two dogs were outside playing.  My older son was throwing the ball for the old dog, Cinder, who gets very territorial about balls.  She also has a chronic ear issue that stems from 5 years ago when a former housemate ripped at her ear.  Her ear canal doesn't drain properly and her ear flap keeps the wax and gunk inside so it's usually tender despite weekly cleanings.
Cinder - the left ear is the gimpy one

Nobody knows just what happened next, but I hear a growl, a yell from my dad, and a squeal from Cinder.  I run outside and Pearl has Cinder's ear in her jaws and is pulling.  Cinder is upset but fighting back.  My dad is trying to kick Pearl to let her go.  My mother takes a snow shovel and begins to hit the dogs until I tell her and my dad to stop.  Being irrational in this situation is not useful, and i ask them to help me separate the dogs.  My dad then basically chokes out Pearl while Cinder attacks her face, telling her to back off.

It was a scuffle.  Dogs do that.  Cinder ended up with no punctures or scrapes, just an irritated ear.  Pearl had scrapes all over her face from Cinder's snaps after my dad nearly choked her.  But my parents and my sister were mortified and sat me down to have a Talk. 

Pearl.  She smiles funny.
Apparently my pit bull is "scary as fuck" and by allowing her in the house, I have put her daughter and my sons and my entire family at risk.  She is a pit bull.  Those jaws - oh, those jaws can do such damage!  And everybody is at risk.  I need to get rid of That Dog.  Poor Cinder has to go through her last few years of life with a terror for a housemate.  I am a bad mother for letting That Dog into my house.  My children could be killed any moment with a pit in the house.  My mother's father would have never put up with it, and wouldn't have taken it to the vet to be dealt with.  Oh, no, he would have taken matters into his own hands!  At this point, I am having an anxiety attack.  My sister is berating me for not telling her my dog gets excited in new situations and how dare I not explain that Cinder is possessive of balls?!  Don't my children know better than to throw balls for the dogs because they may end up in a scuffle?  And my mother is saying I need to get rid of Pearl because she is a danger.  All of this coming a mere 4 months from when I had to euthanize my lab mix for aggression.  I couldn't take any more.  I took my dog into a bedroom and slammed the door because I couldn't hold back the tears and anxiety any more.  I had myself a quiet panic attack lasting about an hour, while holding my Pearl tight in my arms.  She, of course, had no idea why I was sad.  She licked my face and snuggled in.

Pearl is like the little white kitten in The AristoCats.  She is a lady.  A lady does not start fights, but she can finish them.  Pearl has never started a fight in her 7 years of life.  However, she has finished them.  If another dog jumps her, she will grab on somewhere so they can't get to her and won't let go until they're both exhausted.  But, because my family was so afraid of her, I kept her on a leash until I could find a basket muzzle for her.

For the remainder of the visit, a whole week, my poor Pearl had to wear a basket muzzle while at my parents' house.  She was miserable.  She hardly left the couch.  If nobody was home, I would take the muzzle off and she would nap with me on a recliner or chew on her bone.  She didn't once growl at another dog or make any moves.  The other dogs growled at her, as they do, but she just walked away.  As she usually does.  It was so awful, I cut my visit short by three days.  The muzzle chafed her chin and she was profoundly depressed.  And she couldn't yawn.

The pit bull stigma is real.  But so is the stigma of any Bully breed.  To someone not In The Know, a bully breed isn't a bulldog breed - it is a dog that beats up on other dogs.  After all, kids get bullied in school.  A mean person is called a bully.  Dobermans aren't bully breeds, but they have the same stigma.  As do rottweilers, german shepherds, chow chows, and other large dogs.  The majority of dog bite fatalities come from pit bulls and rottweilers, but how many of these dogs are family dogs, and how many are trained to be protective of their property?  How can you tell the difference between a mean pit and a nice pit?

You can't.  And since they do more damage than a shih-tzu or a chihuahua, they are all considered Bad Dogs.  It doesn't help that Bad Humans like to own BadAss Dogs, and train certain breeds to be vicious.  I am not a fan of Breed Specific Legislation, but I am a supporter of Punish The Deed, Not The Breed.  If a dog attacks a human, it needs to be humanely put down.  It is a risk.  But dogs argue and scuffle with other dogs, much like my boys scuffle and hurt each other on occasion.  It happens.  Nobody is always in a good mood, and that is the same with dogs.

I have had Pearl since she was 8 weeks old.  She has been raised in a loving home with cats, other dogs, and children.  She sometimes jumps the fence, and neighborhood kids bring her home.  She loves children.  She wouldn't ever bite one, I don't think.  But I can't predict the future.  I will not euthanize my dog for scuffling with another dog.  But if she ever turns against a human, I won't think twice.  As I type, Cinder and Pearl are sleeping on the couch, butt to butt.  They are housemates, partners, and friends.  I wish people weren't so quick to judge....
Butt Buddies hehe